Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow spent the past few months desperately trying to convince her best friend Madonna not to separate from Guy Ritchie, MailOnline can reveal.

The 36-year-old believes Madonna and Guy, who announced the end of their nearly eight-year marriage today, should remain together for the sake of their three children.

Gwyneth is said to have advised her friend to think long and hard about the effects a divorce from the film director will have on Rocco, eight, adopted David Banda, two, and Lourdes, Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

A source told MailOnline: ‘Gwyneth begged Madonna all summer not to be an idiot and let this marriage fall apart.’

Like Madonna, the Shakespeare In Love star is an American married to an Englishman, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, and alternates her time between her homes in London and New York.

Gwyneth is also said to have developed a soft spot for toddler David and would be devastated to lose regular contact with him as well as with her best friend.

The source said: ‘Gwyneth is in love with that little boy and sees him several times a week while she’s in London, and she has as much at stake as anyone in seeing his parents stay together.

‘She just doesn’t think it’s possible that Madonna and Guy would hurt their children by splitting up, and says she has actively advised both of them to put their problems and their egos aside for the sake of the children.

‘But Madonna can be very hard-headed and treats Gwyneth like a younger sister. If Madonna goes through with a divorce it’s going to break Gwyneth’s heart and affect their friendship permanently.’

Adding to Gwyneth’s determination to keep her friends together is her belief that Guy is an excellent parent to the couple’s children.

The source said: ‘Gwyneth considers Madonna to be a very progressive parent, especially when it comes to keeping Lourdes tuned into her roots and encouraging her relationship with Carlos Leon.

‘That Guy has gone along with that is very impressive to Gwyneth, and just one other reason she the thinks they’re not going to divorce over any issue with the children, no matter how rough things get.’

The domesticated actress is also concerned she’ll lose contact with the fiercely independent Madonna once she’s single again.

‘Gwyneth loves being a mom and loves having Madonna as a confidant about marriage, motherhood and keeping a home together in the public eye,’ the source continued.

‘For those reasons alone, Madonna becoming single again is Gwyneth’s worst nightmare. Overnight, they’d go from having everything in common to almost nothing.

‘I don’t think their friendship could survive, especially if Madonna is the one who forces the split.’

However, despite the major upheavals in Madonna’s personal life, it’s unlikely the pop superstar will abandon London for good.

The source said: ‘No matter what happens, with Gwyneth’s help, Madonna has made a home in England, and she’s staying. She loves it there, and has more friends than reports have lead on. England is in her blood, and she won’t walk away from it even if her marriage goes south.

‘For Gwyneth’s part, if they break up, she’ll have to stay friends with Madonna and Guy because she loves those kids so much and Chris and Guy have a very solid friendship as well.’

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Hamptonites who paid up to $2,500 to attend a benefit were not happy with Gwyneth Paltrow Saturday night.

Already disappointed that honorary chair Madonna didn’t show for the Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue Organization party, at photographer Steven Klein’s Bridgehampton farm, guests became even more crestfallen when Paltrow spent most of the time off-limits in Klein’s house.

“Gwyneth stayed in the house from the beginning,” sniffed one guest. “She was hanging inside the house with Steven and with Kelly Klein nearly the entire time. Nobody could go inside the house — they had security blocking the way. It was so rude.”

Even Billy Joel’s wife, Katie, was turned back, says a source.

Making matters even more annoying, people kept bumping into things in the dark out on the photographer’s horse riding field.

“It was a ‘black’ party — everybody had to wear black,” our source says. “[Klein] had a bonfire off to the side, but there were no lights whatsoever, and his backyard is huge. He has these black benches all around, and people kept crashing into them.”

Paltrow did emerge for about five minutes to address the group, which included Calvin Klein, Donna Karan, Andrew Saffir, Nicole Miller, Sale Johnson, Russell Simmons, Rosanna Scotto, Rocco DiSpirito and Marcy Warren.

After crying, “I can’t see! I can’t see!” as she teetered to the field, the “Iron Man” star talked about Amaryllis, which helps stop the slaughter of horses, donkeys and mules for dog meat in Mexico.

Paltrow then introduced Olympic dressage coach Robert Dover, who rode Maksymilian, a gelding that had been rescued from slaughter and is now worth $1 million. She also read a poem about the legendary horse Snowman, “whose heart was as radiant as the white snow” and who was rescued by Harry de Leyer, a Long Island riding instructor.

“In saving the horse, Harry became an instrument of the divine,” said Paltrow. “When we make the only choice possible, and that is to love, then all of us become what we were intended to be. We are the power.”

If only Paltrow would use her power, some thought, to let everybody into the house, which is where she quickly sequestered herself the rest of the evening. But all’s well that ends well: After an auction of Klein’s photographs, the evening raised $200,000 for the charity.

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Diane Kruger

Kelly Ripa

Jessica Seinfeld

Like Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t mind being pregnant.

“I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it,” she reveals in July’s Harper’s Bazaar. “And also my [late] dad said to me that his only regret in life was that he had only two children and he didn’t have more.”

She says she is also “open” to adopting.

“I do feel we’re so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity,” says the 35-year-old actress, who works out three hours a day. “We have a lot of love to give and a lot of resources.”

The Iron Man star also dished on:

Dealing with morning sickness:
“My mother loved each [pregnancy] to bits; she felt alive and beautiful. I wanted to throw up all the time.”

Getting her post-baby bod back:
“I don’t want to look like a mother who doesn’t care. For myself, for my work, and for my relationship, I want to look good.”

Cutting her Rapunzel-like hair this spring:
“I was very, very attached to my hair. I grew it when I was pregnant. I still had hair from when my father was alive. I made it like a talisman. And then I was ready to let go of it, and so I chopped it off and … aaah!”

Keeping her marriage to Coldplay’s Chris Martin sexy with two kids:
“I think you have to make an effort to compartmentalize a little bit. When your children are asleep, you have to open another world … children and being a parent can really drain that side of you. I would like to say ‘Go away for the weekend.’ But, of course, I’ve done that like one time on my birthday. But it’s important to carve out some time; otherwise, you don’t have an inner life. You just give all day, and then you pass out at night.”

Supporting Barack Obama:
“I don’t feel there’s any lip service with [Obama]. I don’t feel like he’s one of those jaded politicos who say one thing and are talking out of both sides of their mouth. I also feel we’ve done such damage to our reputation – and as someone who lives outside America for half the year, I overhear things that I wish I didn’t overhear. A lot of people in the West think that we’re not very sensitive to the rest of the world, and I think that having a president called Barack Hussein Obama in 2008 says that we are part of the world, and we don’t want to make unilateral decisions about the fate of all of us. I just pray to God that he wins.”

Being BFFs with Madonna:
“She’s so physically beautiful and fit, it’s just crazy. I think part of the reason she looks so good is that she’s always striving for more knowledge. She’s a very interested woman.”

Feeling vulnerable about returning to movie-making after a four-year hiatus:
“In this business, they don’t look back, and they’re particularly harsh to women. I’m not 25; I’m 35. I’m not someone to discover; I’m someone who people know. I mean, it’s all ego, but you start to feel like, ‘Oh, no, I worked so hard to get somewhere, and what if I can’t get back there again?’ But, all the while knowing that, I would never have traded one second or done anything differently.”

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The actress, speaking to America’s V Magazine, admits she gained 42 pounds during her pregnancy; and that she battled with the baby bulge after giving birth.

She explains, “I had milk dripping out of my boobs – it seemed like a fairytale.

“I didn’t mind the big boobs. But I hated the stomach roll, the back fat and the post-pregnant butt. And it was so hard to get rid of. Especially the final 20lb.

“I haven’t eaten meat for about fifteen years. I eat fish, a little bit of dairy – not much milk – but I love cheese.

“We’ll make chocolate chip cookies and eat them, but sugar makes me feel pretty bad. I have coffee and wine. I’ve got lots of lovely vices.”

And despite initially refusing to hire a nanny to look after her two children — Apple, four; and Moses, two — with husband Chris Martin, Paltrow said she soon realized that she would have to hire someone when she returned to acting.

She added, “I have an amazing nanny. I didn’t have one till Apple was 14 months old, but then, because we were going on tour, we found someone fantastic. She’s been with us ever since.

“I was really tired. … (but) obsessed – madly, deeply in love – with my daughter. I wanted to be with her all day long. I was under a crazy spell.

“I still am, but I’ve had to adjust to reality more.”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s showing off a bold new look on the latest cover of V Magazine – photographed by Mario Sorrenti – and in it, the Iron Man actress spills new details about her home life, her post-baby weight loss, and her indulgence in certain chocolate-chip “vices.”

But how did she make the jump from motherhood back to movies? “I have an amazing nanny,” she tells the magazine, on newsstands May 15. “I didn’t have one till Apple was 14 months old, but then, because we were going on tour [with husband Chris Martin’s band Coldplay], we found someone fantastic. She’s been with us ever since.

Without her, “I was really tired. … [but] obsessed – madly, deeply in love – with my daughter. I wanted to be with her all day long. I was under a crazy spell. I still am, but I’ve had to adjust to reality more.”

Another rough part of parenthood? Losing the baby weight!

“I put on 40 pounds with Moses. And I found it really hard to loose the last 20 pounds,” Paltrow, 35, admits. “I didn’t mind having the big boobs. But it was the stomach roll, the back fat, and the post-pregnant butt. And it was so hard to get rid of.”

She did it with by eating “organic, seasonal food that isn’t processed.”

“I haven’t eaten meat for about fifteen years. I eat fish, a little bit of dairy – not much milk – but I love cheese,” she adds. “We’ll make chocolate chip cookies and eat them, but sugar makes me feel pretty bad. I have coffee and wine. I’ve got lots of lovely vices!”

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They say that time heals all wounds, so one would imagine that almost ten years after their split, Gwyneth Paltrow would only have nice things to say about her former fiancé Brad Pitt, who is expecting yet another child with gal-pal Angelina Jolie and who sources tell OK! is getting ever closer to walking down the aisle for a second time.

However, when OK! caught up with Gwyneth at the L.A. premiere for her upcoming film Iron Man on Wednesday, the Oscar-winner didn’t even play the usual “I-wish-them-the-best” lip service that celebrity exes are famous for spouting.

Asked if she had any well wishes to share with her one-time better half, the Shakespeare In Love star twisted her mouth and pertly pronounced “No!”

Perhaps Gwyneth was merely in a bad mood or just didn’t feel like talking about her former flame. In previous interviews, she’s actually blamed herself for the split with Brad, saying she was lucky to have spent some of her life with her Se7en co-star, “especially when I was such a mess.”