Source: www.celebritymound.com

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise

Kid Rock and Matt Leinart

Alec Baldwin and Steven Baldwin

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Has Tom Cruise been hiding some extra poundage he put on during his time in Italy pigging out on some bad food?

The ‘Top Gun’ actor - who reportedly wore a corset to hide the weight he has gained when the couple tied the knot in Italy last month - began gobbling pizzas as soon as they were cooked after the ceremony.
Princess Maria Odescalchi who hosted the wedding at her family’s castle revealed to Hello magazine: “Tom at one point started eating pizzas in the kitchen as they were making them!”

Is it that tough for Tom that he has to raid the kitchen?  Is that what they teach for manners at the Scientology cult thing he uses to control Katie’s mind?  Mission Impossible 4 might involve Tom joining the cast of Celebrity Fit Club if he keeps this up.

This would be scary!

Source: www.celebritymound.com

Catherine Zeta-Jones and her 80 year old husband, Michael Douglas

Christina Applegate

Kristen Bell

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson

Harry Connick Jr. and Jill Goodacre

Source: www.celebritymound.com

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Iman and Anne Hathaway

Source: www.celebritymound.com

Tom Cruise has hired the same Hollywood event production company that planned the fairytale nuptials of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston to co-ordinate his upcoming wedding to Katie Holmes.

The celebrity couple are tying the knot in Italy on November 18, but have refused to reveal the exact location.

The wedding planning company, Along Came Mary, has also produced Barbra Streisand’s wedding to James Brolin and Sean Penn’s nuptials with Robin Wright Penn.

According to Radar Online, the company is owned by Mary Miucci, who is actually better known for staging blockbuster movie premieres.

Miucci has produced elaborate affairs for such films as Memoirs Of A Geisha, for which she sourced hundreds of thousands of silk cherry blossoms and Superman Returns, for which she built a scale-replica Metropolis.

Cruise is familiar with her work - she also planned the premieres for the first two Mission: Impossible movies, which reportedly earned her the nickname “the Queen of Theme”.

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Star Trek is not on television for the first time in over 30 years, but that isn’t stopping a new movie with a new star - Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise is in negotiations to reteam with Mission: Impossible 3 director JJ Abrams for the next Star Trek movie.

The movie superstar is reportedly a huge fan of the sci-fi franchise and jumped at the chance to play a cameo role in the new film, which will be directed by Abrams.

An insider tells Canada’s TV Guide magazine, “He didn’t even need to be begged to appear in it.”

For those of us that think Tom Cruise is already from another planet this role will just help to solidify that point.  I know the L. Ron Hubbard had nothing to do with Star Trek, but it is a better choice than Battlefield Earth — just ask John Travolta!

Katie this is your chance to get away!!!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Could it be that the Tom Cruise is ready to make Katie an honest woman and slap  ring on her finger?

The ‘Top Gun’ actor and former ‘Dawson’s Creek’ star are said to have decided to tie the knot at the luxury £1.4 million pad on the shore of Lake Como after enjoying a holiday there last weekend.

It is believed Katie, 27, and Tom, 44, opted for an Italian wedding because it was in Rome where they confirmed their relationship with a very public kiss on the set of ‘Mission: Impossible III’.

It’s about time they are getting married.  Why can’t they do what every other couple that gets knocked up do?  Get married at city hall and tell your kid that you were married 3 months before you actually were so she doesn’t blame herself for your miserable marriage.  That is how this country was built and why Vegas weddings are needed.

First comes brainwashing, then baby, and finally
a secretive wedding in a foreign land.

Source: www.celebridiot.com

TomKat is looking to slim down.  More specifically Tom is trying to give Katie every opportunity to lose the baby weight she is still carrying.

Hollywood actor Tom Cruise is said to be very concerned of Katie Holmes’ appearance that he has taken direct involvement in his partner’s workout regimen. The actor’s new “Mission Impossible” is to reclaim Holmes’ former hard bodied physique.

For those of you that says this relationship is doomed ad just weird you should just apologize now!  How many men out there tell their significant others to get into shape, but do nothing to help them?  Well Tom is stepping up to the plate and taking charge of the situation. I mean Tom can’t be seen with a woman that is heavier than he is - especially since she is already taller than he is by a foot.

I swear to L.Ron Hubbard I will suck the food
out of your stomach!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

The successful Mission Impossible trilogy will not have Tom Cruise to lead the fourth installment.  It looks like he has worn out his welcome and another Hollywood hottie is taking over - Brad Pitt.

Sources claim Brad wouldn’t be playing Tom’s character of Ethan Hunt, but would rather play a new operative. As for Ethan? They’re reportedly considering retiring the agent to “a safe life with his new wife.”

“They’re set on Brad taking over as a gutsy new head operative who puts together his own unique team of specialists,” one source was quoted as saying.

If Tom is smart he will take all the home videos of his relationship and marriage with Katie Holmes and release a real Mission Impossible Home Edition.  I wonder how they will retie Ethan Hunt in the next movie?  Wonder if they will have him appear on a talk show and make an ass out of himself causing the biggest public relations disaster in the history of his agency.

The new Mission Impossible star?

Source: www.celebridiot.com

The magical hold that Tom Cruise has had on Katie Holmes for over a year appears to be weaking in Colorado.

According to Britain’s Sunday Mirror newspaper, she told the visitor: “I don ‘t have my own life any more. I’m not comfortable.”

I don’t know why she wouldn’t feel comfortable.  What woman with a budding film carrer wouldn’t want to be man handled on a national talk show, kept in solitude, and not actually utter a word in public  for a year?  Sounds like a dream come true if you ask me!

Oh she will be mine!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Tom Cruise is the inspiration behind a new proposal for a law, but not in a good way. 

Almost one year after actor Tom Cruise told television interviewer Barbara Walters that he had purchased a personal ultrasound machine to monitor his and fiancee Katie Holmes’ fetus, California lawmakers are asking Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to sign a bill that would limit sales of the machines to licensed medical professionals.

Dubbed the “Tom Cruise bill,” the measure seeks to prevent anxious parents who are looking for new ways to peek at their unborn from purchasing the machines for home use.

Sometimes having too much money can get you into trouble.  You would think that with his own personal ultrasound machine that he would have had one of those pictures in Vanity Fair, but nooooo.  Maybe Tom was trying to find out if he really had a brain after his outburst on Oprah or something.  It was in California so if he claims it was for medicinal use he might get away with it - California is a bit liberal when it comes to use of medical stuff for medicinal use.

If I wear this white coat
it’s like I am a doctor!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

The long awaited pictures of Suri Cruise have finally been unveiled by Vanity Fair. Check out the head of hair on that kid!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

This weeks covers - Paris, TomKat, Kate and Owen

Source: www.celebridiot.com

You decide

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Could it be?!?!?  Real actual photos of the baby Cruise?  According to some published reports it looks like Vanity Fair has landed the most mysterious photos since the Loch ness Monster.

According to the New York Post, Vanity Fair has reportedly landed the rights to publish the first photos of the baby born to actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Suri Cruise was born April 18th, but has yet to be seen by the public. The pictures for the magazine were said to have already been taken by celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz and will be published this fall.

I for one do not believe this story, but I will give Vanity Fair the benefit of the doubt.  I still believe this child was created by Pixar and is permitted in to the sunlight. When and if the pictures are published I bet they are taken inside a special Scientology nursery that block all outside sun and air.  The world will be stunned!

We never did actually see that belly

Source: www.celebridiot.com

This time it’s Penelope Cruz is coming forward and claiming she has seen the chosen child. Once again there is no proof of an actual sighting just a statement.

“She’s really beautiful. She’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen,” Cruz said.

You just have to love how close friends and old lovers are the only ones that can claim to have seen this baby.  At some point this creation will have to see the light of day or it might burst into flames the first time it is outside.  Until there is actual proof of a living child it will be referred to as it or creation.  People can hack Paris Hilton’s Sidekick and post her address book, but no one can get a picture of this baby?  I bet Tom donated it to Scientology already.

Suri sighting 2006!! News at 11

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Another Suri sigthing has occurred and this time it was Jada Pinkett Smith that was blessed with the miracle.  Once again however there are no pictures of Jada going to the cruise home, leaving the cruise home, or of the baby.

“She’s one of the sweetest babies I’ve ever met in my life,” Pinkett Smith tells People magazine. “She’s an absolute beauty and she’s Daddy’s little girl.” Pinkett Smith and her husband, Will Smith, have visited Suri twice, both times at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ mansion in Beverly Hills, Calif.

The Pixar folks are making good progress on the creation of Suri.  Either that or aliens are still working on the advanced cloning method being used to create the next ruler of scientology.  At some point this child will learn how to walk and will run screaming from that house and the world will be waiting to check for the microchips.

This is believed to be what Suri will loo like
in her first appearance. (Yes it’s Vicki the
Robot from the hit show Small Wonder)

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Everyone listen up and listen good for I am about to tell you amazing stories.  The first child of scientology is rumored to have been seen by at least 3 people in 2 states.  I know what you are saying — where is the photographic proof?  — I understand and know that even Bigfoot and the abdominal snowman have pictures out there, but let’s hear them out first.

According to a column posted Thursday on Slate.com, longtime Steven Spielberg producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy saw Suri in Telluride, Colorado. (The baby, presumably, was traveling with her parents.) Marshall and Kennedy, Slate said, “told friends that all seemed quite ordinary.”

This news on top of the story that Lean Remini, from the King of Queens, also saw the baby recently really makes you think.  If I am not mistaken Steven Spielberg is not a Scientologist and hasn’t donated any money to the book club.  Of course Steven could be writing a movie about the baby which will be the story line around War of the Worlds II — but once again that is just me throwing ideas out there (no it’s true believe me!)

YES!!  The plan is coming together perfectly!!
Idiots I tell you all of them!!!!  HAHAHAHAHA

Source: www.celebridiot.com

well according to Katie Holmes parents that is the case. One half of the TomKat duo will not be seeing their parents at their upcoming alien - I mean Scientology - wedding.

What’s more, Holmes’ par­ents, devout Catholics Martin and Kathleen, intend to skip the actual ceremony, a “friend” of Cruise reportedly told Life & Style Weekly.

That is sad when your own parents can’t see passed their own beliefs to embrace the beliefs of of the person that gives you $3 million a year and an imaginary baby. The big question is whether or not Suri Cruise will be able to attend the ceremony since the folks over at Pixar haven’t quite finished up the fine details yet. Fingers crossed for that one!

I don’t know what their problem
is. It’s not like I am forcing her
to marry me or something!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

Was Katie really preggers with the child Cruise?  The future ruler of Scientologists everywhere has yet to make a public or private appearance.  Not only will pictures not be published anytime soon apparently not even close friends are being allowed in to see this miracle child.

A source says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show her off to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met her, despite repeated calls to Cruise.

Here is my theory, mind you this is just a theory and not yet fact, Tom Cruise is in talks with the folks over at Pixar to create a life like animatronic infant that can pass as Baby Suri.  While that is done to hold off the press and some friends from a distance Tom will be working with the aliens that invented Scientology to clone himself.  The clone will undergo mild plastic surgery to provide it some of Katie’s features and when the child is 13 it will be revealed to the world in Mission Impossible 17!

Suckers! They all believe we had sex and
I made that bump!!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

The insulting $3 million offer for exclusive pictures of baby Suri is not the reason that TomKat will not be releasing them.  The new claim is that his religion frowns on showing off pictures of babies.

It has now been claimed Tom is reluctant to show off Suri because Scientology doctrine teaches followers of the sci-fi cult to avoid taking newborn babies out unless absolutely necessary.

Everyone knows that a picture is where the souls is and if you want to protect your soul you can never show your picture. That is why I refuse to get a driver’s license — that right you lose a piece of you soul every time you get carded in a bar. Wait that could be from the Tequila, but why chance it I saw the should thing in a movie once so I believe it!

I can see the baby and it looked at me!!

Source: www.celebridiot.com

After baby Brangelina scored over $4 million for her pictures baby TomKat decided to throw her hat into the mix. However results weren’t as favorable.

“A photo shoot of Suri was evidently offered to Wire Image for sale to celeb mags, including People, US Weekly, Star and In Touch Weekly. But the reported near $3 million bid the pics fetched was a slap in the face for mom and pop, and they pulled out.”[COURIER]

The only theory I have behind this $1 million dollar slap in the face is people think Tom Cruise is crazy and that any association with his off spring will make them crazy also. Plus the baby has a tattoo on her forehead advertising Dainetics - that’s just creepy.