It’s Cher!  WTF happened to this woman?????  OMG!  She looks like she has been to Joan River’s plastic surgeon.  They can probably compare notes now – their faces snap back wash after wash!

Kevin Federline has let the world in on the biggest joke to hit the music world since Milli Vanilli and Vanilla Ice.  He has revealed that his debut track, Popo Zao, was a joke!!!

At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did. That way, when I come out with my real s**t, people are f**king blown away.

Now were people ever not laughing at KFed?  Was his music the only thing that people were laughing at?  Nice to know the man who destroyed the career of one of the hottest performers in the world has time to waste making joke songs to get laughs.  That’s like me going to work and pissing on my bosses desk so that when I don’t piss on my new bosses desk people will say, “This time he got it right!”

It was the music that made you
laught at me right?

Victoria, the Horndogg Community loves you!! Everyone please show your support by bagging some ManWash.

Source:  The Bastardly

I promise this photo is untouched ….. laugh…you know you want to.

Up next for Meg?  Well, after a LONG break?her last movie was 2004??s Against the Ropes, I would take a break too.  She??s coming back to us in ??In the Land of Women? costarring Adam Brody and Ginnifer Goodwin.

About ??Women?: His world in complete disorder after his break-up with a famous actress, Carter, a young TV writer, goes to suburban Detroit to care for his sickly Grandmother and heal his broken heart. Along the way he forms a special bond with the family that lives across from his Grandma, and changes the live of each woman. In the course of this, as is required in every film??and thus the world, he changes his own life as well.

Source:  In Case You Didn’t Know

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I watch As The World Turns every single day.  I’ve grown up watching it. 

When I ran across this article on DListed I was stunned.  With my eyes full of tears I type this…what a wonderful actor and wonderful person.  I will truly miss him – there is no other Hal for me.

Benjamin Hendrickson, who played cop Hal Munson on As The World Turns since 1985, shot himself this past weekend. Apparently he suffered from depression.

This is so sad. Hal was hot shit because he always put up with that crazy slut Barbara and all her antics.

RIP Hal.

Amber Frey, Scott Peterson’s former mistress and a key witness in his prosecution, will wed Robert Hernandez today, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

“Amber Frey will be married today to Robert Hernandez,” Frey’s attorney, Gloria Allred, tells PEOPLE. “Mr. Hernandez works in law enforcement. The couple will be married in California and are very happy. They plan to live in the Fresno area.”

Frey, 31, a Fresno-based massage therapist, has two children: daughter Ayianna, born in 2001, and son Justin, 2, from previous relationships.

Last year a DNA test determined that Ayianna’s father is Fresno bar owner Christopher B. Funch and not Anthony D. Flores, as Frey had previously believed. Justin’s dad is Frey’s ex-boyfriend, chiropractor David Markovich.

Frey made headlines in 2004 when she gave dramatic testimony in the murder trial of her former lover, Scott Peterson. Frey and Peterson had dated in late 2002, and on Christmas Eve of that year, Peterson’s pregnant wife, Laci, disappeared.

On Nov. 12, 2004, a jury found Peterson guilty of first-degree murder in the death of Laci and second-degree murder in the slaying of their unborn child, Conner. A month later, he was sentenced to death.

Now on death row in San Quentin State Prison, Peterson, 33, has struck up a pen-pal relationship with Rachelle Nice, 36, one of the jurors who convicted him. Nice told PEOPLE last month she’s hoping that Peterson will eventually confess to the murders.

“If he comes clean, I don’t think things will change, but it will put a lot of people’s minds at ease and at rest,” she said. “This has to eat at him. It has to. I don’t know if it will make things better, but it will put his mind at ease.”

For her part, Frey has no doubt that she did the right thing. “The whole experience was very trying, emotionally,” she told PEOPLE in 2005. “For most people, it was just a story, but to me it was part of my life, a very painful part. I don’t know if I’ve made my mark on the world, but I’m young, and I have my whole life ahead of me ?? and I intend to do my best.”

Source: People Magazine

Was Katie really preggers with the child Cruise?  The future ruler of Scientologists everywhere has yet to make a public or private appearance.  Not only will pictures not be published anytime soon apparently not even close friends are being allowed in to see this miracle child.

A source says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show her off to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met her, despite repeated calls to Cruise.

Here is my theory, mind you this is just a theory and not yet fact, Tom Cruise is in talks with the folks over at Pixar to create a life like animatronic infant that can pass as Baby Suri.  While that is done to hold off the press and some friends from a distance Tom will be working with the aliens that invented Scientology to clone himself.  The clone will undergo mild plastic surgery to provide it some of Katie’s features and when the child is 13 it will be revealed to the world in Mission Impossible 17!

Suckers! They all believe we had sex and
I made that bump!!

The 25 year old singer, actress, model, and visionary has decided she doesn’t want to be an old mom and wants kids.  I think it’s great that she is so focused on something and didn’t just say this after some other big celebrity had a kid or something.

“I know in my heart of hearts I would be a great mother,” Hilton told the London Mirror. “I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel that I would have a lot to give to my children”

Way to go Paris…you have reached an entire new level of air-headedness – if that isn’t a word it is now so deal with it! If i recall correctly Paris didn’t have the best of luck with her little doggie did she?  Does she realize that if she loses a child she can’t just put up pretty pink signs, go on Access Hollywood, and buy a close looking replica of the original?  Well they are getting much better tracking chips developed which could be useful.

“Please help this dog is like a child to me”
That poor kid!

TMZ has learned that Candy Spelling, Aaron??s widow, has quietly put the Spellings?? legendary mansion on the market for $150 million.

Sources in the real estate industry say Westside Estate Agency (WEA)  has a pocket listing on the 56,000 square foot estate, meaning it is is quietly being shopped among realtors and select buyers.  The mansion, located in the exclusive Holmby Hills area of L.A., was completed in 1991 for around $47 million, which includes $10 million for the land.

One real estate source says Candy Spelling has let a lot of people on the staff go and that the buzz is that she is going to shut the house down so it can be shown by realtors.  Aaron Spelling died on June 23.  

The newest reality TV celebrity has some interesting shaving habits. Apparently David was injured in a freak shaving accident that required surgery for a cut tendon…..in his arm!

The actor/singer severed a tendon in his right arm while shaving in the bathroom of a gym in the Sanderson Hotel in London on Thursday

I have done some odd things shaving which have led to a little cut or some razor burn on my neck, but never have i performed such an acrobatic shaving routine that it resulted in serious bodily injury. What was not disclosed was the type of razor the Knight Rider was using. I think for his safety we should all get a petition started to make him the new spokesperson gor Gillette or get him a gift certificate for The Art of Shaving. Maybe his fame in Germany is fading and this is a cry for help.

I must be completely hairless to
get into my leather pants!

July 3rd, 2006 will be remembered as a great day in rap history.  Lil’ Kim was released from prison today after serving only 10 months of her year sentence.  She was released early – no get this – for good behavior.  Now this wouldn’t be Lil’ Kim without some flair.  This woman had a reality show on BET leading up to her entering prison so she just couldn’t stroll out. 

Federal inmate No. 56198-054 stepped out of the Philadelphia Federal Detention Center at 6 a.m. Monday and into a silver Rolls Royce Phantom.

It’s nice to see that a stint in prison can really bring a person down to earth.  Make them truly understand what it means to pay for your crimes and lies that result in a shooting.  This is a lesson to all you kids out there – Crime doesn’t pay!

AP Photo

No seriously stop laughing – OK you can laugh go ahead.  That is like a newborn baby saying breast milk is yucky – just won’t happen.  Babies are born with the natural instinct to go for the goods and get their milk.  Paris was born with a similar instinct, but it involves in going for goods a bit south and on a man.

One-night stands are not for me. I think it’s gross when you just give it up.

Does she think she is fooling her parents with that line?  I am sure Paris believes what she is saying, but I also don’t think she understands the words that are coming out of her mouth.  Someone get the girl a dictionary so she can look up the word easy.  Maybe seeing her picture nest to it might help clear things up.

I am so not easy!

Actress Keira Knightley has denied media reports of weight problems at the European premiere of her new movie ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’. The 21-year-old actress, who arrived at the premiere in London wearing a gold Gucci dress slashed to the waist, said: “Whatever people say about my weight they are all wrong.”

“Hollywood is all about the way you look and I don’t think that’s the healthy thing for anyone,” she said. “But if you’re strong and comfortable with yourself then you’re going to be fine.”

Speaking about the press, Knightley said: “They said to me yesterday ‘How does it feel to be called anorexic?’ and I had no idea that I was.”

“I can safely say that I’m not,” she said. “I’ve got a lot of experience with anorexia – my grandmother and great-grandmother suffered from it, and I had a lot of friends at school who suffered from it, so I know it’s not something to be taken lightly and I don’t. But I don’t have it, I am very sure of that.”

Knightley was joined by co-stars Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom for last night’s premiere in London.

‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’ opens in Irish cinemas on 7 July.

Not the best way to start your new officially single life out in the Hapmtons Ms. Simpson. Reports out say that Jessica’s security attacked a Daily News photog after snapping some photos of the busty blonde. Of course she denies it was her security, but the attackee is not buying it.

As she turned around, I hit her with a volley of flashes. Before you could say Madonna four guys pounced on me. I’m shocked. These guys jumped on me like chicken on a June bug.

I would hope that her being single, a new album, a new movie, and a new flame would mellow her out some. It coul dbe she has been listening to Tom Cruise and believes that too many pictures could destroy her!

So not ready for pictures! Happy 4th of July!!

Looks like Britney has decided to take the same path that Ashlee Simpson took and go from blonde to black.

“Britney debuted her new dark do Thursday as she was spotted coming out of an office building in New York’s East Village. Brit had baby Sean in tow and was flanked by security. “[China]

That was one way to go in getting people to stop talking about you. I would have gone the other way and tried not to do anything crazy. What’s really scary is that K-Fed is becoming the normal one in this marriage.

The supermodel with a mean streak is back at it again. Naomi Campbell has been accused of beating the crap out of yet another employee.

“The court document does not detail acts by Campbell, but in a published interview in April, Gibson said the catwalker hit her on Jan. 17, called her names and threatened to have her arrested. Gibson told the New York Post that Campbell got upset after being unable to find a specific pair of jeans.”[YAHOO]

I know what she is going through though. Have you ever been unable to find your favorite pair of jeans and just beat the piss out of someone because of it? You know what it must be like for her with nothing to wear in the closet. The poor thing can’t be expected to wear jeans more than once!!! Hire better help baby.

Star Jones Reynolds, the incredible deflating woman, announced that she is leaving The View after the season.

“The View is now moving in a new direction, and I will not be returning this fall–but wherever I go, I will carry a lifetime of memories with me.”[E!]

Plus the show didn’t even renew her contract for next season. So if my thinking is correct she was losing all that weight so she could fit between the bars on the gate guarding the studio! I wonder what is going through her husband’s head right now? I bet he is scared!!!!

Looks like Paris Hilton’s recent hook-up with hockey player Jose Theodore has destroyed a family. Theordore denied reports of anything big happening, but those views aren’t shared.

“Theodore’s girlfriend of eight years — who also happens to be the mother of their three-month-old daughter — disagreed and booted Theodore, according to reports.”[MSNBC]

Paris Hilton is just checking off items on the Sure ways to go to Hell Checklist. Date every guy in Hollywood, date at least two Greek billionaires, make a porno, crash your car, etc. I guess money can’t buy class.

You read that correctly.  Lindsay Lohan has come out and said that since she is no longer Nicole Richie skinny she has gotten her boobs back!  Let me be the first to say that I am also glad she has them back.  With her newly regenerated melons she can now go after Paris Hilton and just knock her over with them. 

I think I’m more sexual than my friends. More comfortable in my skin. I’m a sexual person – definitely. Women are sexy. I think a woman’s body is so much more sensual than a man’s. I’m not saying strip off all your clothes but there are certain photos I like people taking of me where I’m comfortable. As long as it’s tasteful and not cheap or whore-ish I mean – why not?

Wow – Lindsay is just saying all the right things in this story! She is my favorite actress ever – can’t wait for her career to go south and for Playboy to call.